It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
