Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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