ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
