you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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