I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
