so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
