So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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