Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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