Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize