me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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