I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
