Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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