i think my mom watched the whole time
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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