That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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