Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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