It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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