found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My ass is underappreciated
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
