I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
