Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
