guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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