i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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