So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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