I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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