belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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