How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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