the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
