I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Green mimosas i think yes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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