epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
