He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
