Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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