im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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