I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ttyl tear gas
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
