Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
