I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize