Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
