4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize