So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
