entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
