I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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