I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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