are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Randomize
