Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
