Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
