Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
