Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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