just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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