i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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