East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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