Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
