I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
