scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
