I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
