Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
