I murdered the dance floor call the cops
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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