Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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