are you still at the devil's house?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
