I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize