In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
