Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
